Saturday, September 27, 2014

Clover Reviews Volume 1 -> Episode 16

Welcome back my friends to another episode of...

CLOVER REVIEWS!
(Shyamalan September Special!)

Today's review:




"Oh no... please no. I mean, I like the concept but everything else... oh no... not good."



That's all for today. Join us every Saturday for more movie recommendations from our fuzzy friend.
Don't forget that Clover gladly takes requests. Her aim is to please you, the reader.

Friday, September 26, 2014

Review: Tusk


Version I Watched: Only version available now, theatrical.

History: Tusk has a bizarre and goofy origin story.
Director Kevin Smith has been doing a podcast with his producer friend Scott Mosier since 2007. Smodcast. A show in the genre I like to call 'two guys bullshitting.'
The example connected to this is episode 259 wherein they read and joked about a housing ad from the UK. The ad said rent is free as long as the tenant would dress and act like a walrus for two hours a day. The ad was later revealed to be a hoax but it inspired Kevin Smith to write and direct this very movie. But not before having his Twitter followers tell him if they're interested by responding with #WalrusYes or #WalrusNo. Take a guess how it turned out.
Filming began five months after the podcast episode was released. Filming was done in less than a month, all during November. It premiered at the Toronto International Film Festival on September 6th, later released on six hundred screens across the country on September 19th, last week Friday. It was made with a budget of $3 million. As far as I can tell it's made less than $1 million back so far, but we'll see what happens in time. Despite the low numbers it has received mixed reviews. Ratings as low as 0/4 stars to 3/4 stars and 8/10.
Regardless of reviews and box office there are two spin-offs in production right now. The first of which is Yoga Hosers. A more teen-oriented movie based on the two teenage, American hating girls who work at a convenience store in Tusk. The other is Moose Jaws, which is exactly what it sounds like, Jaws but with a Moose.

Personal History: This is of course my first viewing. But as a long time listener of Smodcast I did hear about the production since it's inception over a year ago. So I felt like I saw the movie before seeing the movie in a way.

Review: I like Kevin Smith. I really do. But I definitely don't like him as much as his most hardcore fans do.
Seriously, Kevin Smith's fans are like the Joss Whedon fans of raunchy comedies. They get so caught up in their adoration they not only can't tell when something their hero does is low quality/sub-par they seem to think everything they touch turns into gold the only way their god on earth knows how. Kevin Smith himself, however, can be a little bit of a George Lucas from time to time. Surrounded by 'Yes Men' telling him what he's doing is great without actually examining what he could do to make his work better. Substantiated by Cop Out defenders.
Kevin Smith took this to a whole new level when he went to Twitter, literally asking his fans if they want to see Tusk made. It makes sense in a way. It showed people would actually go see the movie instead of Smith making something because he felt like it. A similar thing was done with Paranormal Activity (after it was made, mind you.) The only issue being that he had almost literally no, 'No's.' Which means Smith made this movie with little to no challenge, something that really should have been present in making what could have been an innovative horror movie.

With that said I was a bit disappointed with how Tusk turned out.

Let's talk about the good first, cause there was plenty of good.
For one it is a great concept. I'm a big fan of this style of horror. The 'crazy eccentric old rich dude with disturbing interests' genre of horror. A style seen in the Hannibal Lecter movies and the more recent Human Centipede. Now as someone who actually liked Human Centipede I liked how Smith was taking that sort of approach. For months I imagined how the walrus would turn out. Thinking how crazy, deformed, and fucked up the final image would be. More on that a little later.

Because the approach was so dark and fucked up this movie can have a great tone when it wants to. Some of the best moments of horror include when Justin Long's character first arrives and Michael Parks' character tells him stories of his past. It's fascinating especially since you know what's lurking underneath. Then after Parks poisons Long (into a deep, deep sleep) and Long wakes up with a leg missing and overall physically immobilized it's great. Parks lies his way out of it claiming the leg is gone because Long got bit by a spider and the doctor had to amputate it. This among other moments all brought together with a fantastic score.
Oh the score! During the darkest moments the score really adds to the feel of the movie. It's a unique kind of score that's mostly low reverberating tones that give a sense of doom. It doesn't jump around with surprise strings like modern, mainstream movies for the purposes of startling. No, this score lives at a lower tone but adds more than the more explosive. I know this is an obscure reference but in David Lynch's Inland Empire he uses a similar score. It's something that lives in your ears during these scenes without you realizing it, in a way, because it blends with the action so well.

The other part of it that may be surprising to most is... it's a very funny movie.
Since a lot of the humor (like most of Smith's humor) is based on Smith's personal experience and interest it should come at no surprise that the protagonists are podcasters. The movie opens with Justin Long and Haley Joel Osment recording a Smodcast-esque podcast called The Not-See Party, wherein Long finds and interviews weird and/or unique people and comes back to bullshit about it with Osment, who doesn't fly. These bits are hilarious to those who find Smith's sense of humor funny, which I do. Plenty of hilarity outside the podcast as well, but the pods are where the humor shine the most if you ask me.

However this leads into one of the biggest things I didn't like about the movie.
I felt the movie (and Smith by extension) didn't know if it wanted to be a full blown comedy or horror movie. I felt the two genres did not blend as well as well as Smith (likely) believes. Sure there are great moments of each genre here. Mixing them together the way he did, though, was jarring, conflicting, and confusing wondering what it's purpose is supposed to be.
It's like Tusk wanted to be Cabin in the Woods while aspiring to be Human Centipede and Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back at the same time.
The reason it turned out this way was because of it's origins. After watching this I went back to the podcast it was based on, episode 259 of Smodcast, titled, 'The Walrus and the Carpenter.' It's a great episode with a lot of laughs. In it Smith and Mosier discuss and joke about what this movie would eventually become. Smith must have felt they got it right the first time around because a lot of what was in the podcast wound up in the movie. Seriously! If you listen to that episode you'll know most of what happens minus the visuals and slight tweaks made along the way. Granted not everything from the podcast was exactly as they described. Plenty of things were changed. Not all in a good way. But describing all those differences would be tedious.

While I believe art can grow from any and all inspiration, sticking to the podcast episode as much as Smith did was his biggest downfall, even when he chose to shy away from other ideas in the podcast.
For one, the horror factor would have been elevated greatly if they spent more time with the killer, watching the walrus process go by slowly, with a horrifying reveal mid-late in the movie. Yes the reveal is a little past the halfway mark, but the pace it took to get there was fast.
Too much time is spent outside the killer's home, away from the walrus and what we came to see. Instead we're given way too much time in flashbacks or with Osment and Long's girlfriend trying to find Long. All the flashbacks do expand the story and some of it is really solid. Something that doesn't last the longer the movie goes on. Especially since the only time the horror comes out is when you're at the killer's home. So when you're NOT there it's more comedy when we should get more horror.

Regardless of story horror can thrive on tone, style, and execution of the visual horrors (or lack of... in a good way... if you know what I mean) alone. I already mentioned the tone is good in many parts. Sadly the style was... not as great.
Smith's movies have never been known to be visually appealing. Outside of Clerks they all have a really plain look to them, even in the more special effects heavy Dogma. Unfortunately this plainness transferred into Tusk. In a movie that could have been well presented, well lit, well shot, is instead a bland and flat looking movie with little visual depth.
Don't blame the budget, either! Yes this was made for $3 million. Want to know what else was? The previously mentioned Human Centipede. A movie with a beautifully gruesome visual approach. Want to know what else had a similar budget? The Purge. A movie that looks like it was done with way more money. But The Purge proves you don't need budget, just talent and good ideas. Tusk, however, is a $3 million movie that looks like it was made for $3 million or less. Even Smith's last movie Red State, which admittedly I haven't seen since it came out, looked more visually appealing and it was made for a similar budget. I know Smith is capable of making his movies look better.
Even though it had that big downfall the biggest crime of all is... the suit.

This was the one thing I was more excited for than anything else. If the suit was nailed it could have forgiven many of the downfalls before and after it is presented. Sadly the suit was not all it could have been.
The suit is described in the podcast and shown in the movie to be made out of skin. Which is fine. It's a pretty typical horror trope to have some sort of suit, costume, mask, and so forth made of skin. A bit overused now but can still be creepy. That's not the problem I have with it. The problem I have is the suite looks bad, so bad. The skin does not look like skin. It looks way too much like plastic. Again, don't blame it on the budget. There are movies made with a similar budget (or less) that made more convincing effects and outfits.

It also didn't help we didn't see the process of going into the suit. Instead we see a small glimpse of Long being operated on in the early stages. But we never see the suit before they put him in, nor do we see him being sewed into the suit. It's just Long early in the surgery, then full blown walrus. Something that would be much more effective if the suit looked better. A design that would actually make me shocked, disturbed, or something other than disappointment.
Really it shouldn't have been made from skin anyway. If Parks' character was really in love with walruses as much as he claimed to be I imagine the suit would be more realistic looking in their world. Something he sets up when he says "I've been constructing a rather realistic walrus costume." Still have the surgery, still have everything else but make it look more like walrus skin. Hell, even have the character use actual walrus skin. Something other than what we had, and certainly something that looks less plastic as the skin in.
Although if I wrote it I would have had Parks stuff Long with blubber in the skin he already has. Not put a suit around him. Literally turn him into a walrus like it's a sex change instead of crippling him, then putting him in a suit. It would be more interesting and a lot more depraved (in a good way for a horror movie) to have it that way. The suit just seems so... unimaginative.

Tusk is a fantastic example of what happens when you take an inside joke or wild concept and try to expand it to a full story. Rarely does something wild like this work. Machete is a good example of what can work as is... well... most of Snakes on a Plane, in retrospect. But Tusk was a wild inside joke that wound up being a mess of a movie when it should have stayed a funny bit on a podcast. That or just decide if it'll be a comedy or a horror. Not both. AND if it has to be both then take a lesson from something like Cabin in the Woods, not the View Askewniverse (which couldn't be helped in this case.)
At least there are lots of very funny bits and great scenes of impending horror. A great tone, great performances, and really great ideas. I just wish the outcome could have been better. I wish I wasn't this disappointed. At least I didn't not like it. I just didn't like all of it.

I'm sure I'll catch Yoga Hosers when it comes out. Not feeling strong either way on that one. What I am hoping turns out well is Moose Jaws! Please make that one the kick ass one!

Saturday, September 20, 2014

Clover Reviews Volume 1 -> Episode 15

Welcome back my friends to another episode of...

CLOVER REVIEWS!
(Shyamalan September Special!)

Today's review:




"Some great moments, performances and ideas, but a few wrong turns keep this from being as good a sci-fi/horror movie as it could be."





That's all for today. Join us every Saturday for more movie recommendations from our fuzzy friend.
Don't forget that Clover gladly takes requests. Her aim is to please you, the reader.

Saturday, September 13, 2014

Clover Reviews Volume 1 -> Episode 14

Welcome back my friends to another episode of...

CLOVER REVIEWS!
(Shyamalan September Special!)

Today's review:



"One of the finest examples of what a real life super hero would be, made so great by keeping it small in scale."





That's all for today. Join us every Saturday for more movie recommendations from our fuzzy friend.
Don't forget that Clover gladly takes requests. Her aim is to please you, the reader.

Saturday, September 6, 2014

Clover Reviews Volume 1 -> Episode 13

Welcome back my friends to another episode of...

CLOVER REVIEWS!
(Shyamalan September Special!)

Today's review:



"A well put together thriller that holds up well outside the few painfully 90's moments."






That's all for today. Join us every Saturday for more movie recommendations from our fuzzy friend.
Don't forget that Clover gladly takes requests. Her aim is to please you, the reader.

Saturday, August 30, 2014

Clover Reviews Volume 1 -> Episode 12

Welcome back my friends to another episode of...

CLOVER REVIEWS!

Today's review:




"It was pretty cool... I guess.. if you're into that sort of Medieval thing..."






That's all for today. Join us every Saturday for more movie recommendations from our fuzzy friend.
Don't forget that Clover gladly takes requests. Her aim is to please you, the reader.

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

The Rings of Saturn Review #3: Virtua Fighter



History: Only going through the history of the Saturn version would be an injustice seeing as this helped kickstart the revolutionary 3D fighter back in the mid-90s.
Originally released in arcades in arcades in 1993 this game followed in the footsteps of other 3D Sega games like Virtua Racing (released a year earlier also in arcades.) It was a massive success, guaranteeing sequels in the near future. Only problem was this game was released when the Sega Genesis was Sega's home console. A little later when the Saturn was released it was still not considered a powerful enough machine to do an arcade perfect port, or at least there wasn't the ability to at the time. Because of this there is no true home version of the original game. Only lesser ports. I don't know how true this is for the game's sequels but apparently it's true here.
Virtua Fighter was a launch game for the Saturn. Like I stated in my Dancing Across the Rings of Saturn post it was because of this game the console did so well at first. Nearly every single Saturn owner had a copy of this game day one in Japan. Despite it's popularity it was seen as a rushed port. And by the time it hit the states months later it especially looked poor since games like Battle Arena Toshinden had seen the light of day since. In response Sega released Virtua Fighter Remix. An enhanced version of the original that addressed many of the complaints of the home version.
Anything else said about the franchise right now would tread on the territory of the sequels. Something I'll save for those reviews.

Availability: While it kick started a big franchise, this version of the game received limited ports. The most popular being the Sega Saturn port. The only other port would be to the 32X, the failed Genesis 32 bit add on hardware. The sequel Virtua Fighter 2 is on modern consoles for digital download. But alas the original, original has very, very few ports and can only be played a limited number of ways. Not that you'd want to.

Personal History: I played the sequel Virtua Fighter 2 way more than the original. I did have this version back then as well but I definitely played more of the 'Remix' version. So this original, original I have little experience with compared to the sequels.

Version I Played: American release for the Sega Saturn.

Review: Like plenty of other Saturn owners back in the day I played a ton of Virtua Fighter. More so Virtua Fighter 2, though. It was easily the more popular title in the long run since the American launch of the Saturn poo-pooed all over itself whereas almost literally every single Saturn owner had Virtua Fighter at launch in Japan. I did pick up the original and the Remix version of the original in time, but my head was solidified with the mechanics of Virtua Fighter 2.
Just like another one of my favorite fighting franchises, Tekken, I started with a sequel and backtracked to the original. In a way I'm doing that again with rebuilding my Saturn collection. The most recent Virtua Fighter I played before this was the most recent one. VF5 for PS3. While I found it lacking and too easy (on standard difficulties, not counting insane options) it was still a fun experience and am glad I have it. But it made me desire the originals. It made me think the franchise had not grown too far from it's roots which is both a good and bad thing.

Games these days are so massive and offer so much I can't believe we once went through times when games didn't offer 40-80 hours of gameplay each (slight exaggeration.) Even many fighting games now have this feature. Mortal Kombat 2011 has so much to offer it's incredible. I wanted to like VF5 more because of my love of the franchise, but in context of the modern era it didn't have enough going for it. Which is a good way to look at the review for the original game, with context. Without context the original would look like a game in it's pre-pre-alpha stages from the Dreamcast or Playstation 2 era at best and not a complete game. I would love to talk to a game obsessed kid half my age and say, "You know that fighting game you like so much? Well here's how some of them used to look."

Kids these days just don't get it do they?

They would probably be horrified or assume it was a patch to Minecraft. Strange when you think about it. How in 1993 this is something people had shit their pants over. They couldn't believe how games were going into this new dimension of 3D and this was at the forefront. People didn't care that their games went from vibrant and detailed 2D to blocky and dull 3D for a while in order to embrace this innovation. Besides, while there were a fair chunk of games that looked like this (some worse) it didn't last long. Especially since the reworked 'Remix' version came out less than two years after the original arcade release where it looked like this...

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's not as nice as Virtua Fighter 2 but at least it's an improvement.


I don't like being the type who is close minded about older things. When I see something older that may be considered laughable these days I try to think of the context of the time. Unfortunately context can only go so far. At some point poor aging comes into play which makes certain art, opinions,  ans whatever else unbearable to many modern eyes. Sadly I feel the first Virtua Fighter is one of those cases. Playing it today is not as fun as it could be. It has not aged well at all.

Just to get it out of the way let's talk about the visuals.
I already pointed out how weird the characters look to modern eyes. It was the early 3D so it was pretty apparent Sega wanted to get the mechanics down before the visuals. Hence why everyone looks like they're made out of Lego pieces. In a way I like it and it has stood the test of time in a way Sega likely didn't intend. I like their blocky look because it lends itself to it's name of Virtua. Derived from virtual (duh), or virtual reality. It's got that old school VR look to it making it feel more like a scene from The Lawnmower Man instead of Enter the Dragon. Know what I mean? What if I said the holodeck from Star Trek, would that work better for you?
However that's just one man's opinion. I can't possibly see the rest of the world look at it that way unless they went with the "it's so retro!" approach but not take it seriously in context of it's time.

Putting visuals aside I want to jump straight past control, variety, and everything to get to the main point. This game is tough.
Going back to the Tekken comparison. I remember picking up Tekken 1 after playing tons of Tekken 2. Imagine my surprise when I went from an approachable but not too easy fighter to one that would beat me into next week. I was shocked at how difficult Tekken 1 was on the easiest difficulty, infinite time, and one round wins. I experienced something similar when revisiting Virtua Fighter. I don't know if it's because it's been so long, if I was a lot better back then, or if it's just so old and outdated I can't even approach it anymore. Whatever it may be I found myself getting my ass kicked left and right just a few stages in. Getting so angry I turned it off.
It wasn't for a lack of trying. I was putting my all into it. I even adjusted the difficulty settings just so I could get to the final boss and see the credits. Knowing there's basically no ending I don't feel the need to put myself through the annoyance of that. This isn't like Tekken where each character has a short ending unique to their story.
While I'm not saying there has to be a reward at the end of the tunnel it would be a nice incentive. Even if it was the ten to fifteen second endings other fighting games have that would be something. Otherwise this game is more about the journey, of which I did not enjoy as much now as I once did.

A part of it definitely is the controls. An element that has always held me back from calling this my favorite fighting franchise, leaving Tekken to reign. If you've ever played the first couple Virtua Fighters you're pretty familiar with the 'moon jump.' While in many fighting games characters jump much higher than they ever should. In Virtua Fighter they jump super high but then hang in the air for a couple seconds like they're bouncing around the moon. It's not a game breaking mechanic but it can be annoying and difficult to handle. Not that that's the only negative aspect of the controls. Just an obvious example.
The deep rooted issue in the controls in this first installment is that floating transfers to the controls overall. When I'm moving, grooving, punching and kicking with the... greatest of ease? I feel like nothing is solid and floats around way more than it should. Because of this I never feel like I'm in full control. I feel like I'm trying to fight underwater.
The approach to the fighting in this franchise has always been realism. Again, hence 'Virtua.' While I feel it succeeds to a point all the problems I just stated with the controls are what held this first game back.

Not that it's all bad. Despite the complaints the game is still very well put together all things considered. For being one of the first games in it's genre (3D fighters) the game has a lot of variety. There are eight characters to choose from with one hidden character accessed through a code. All of which have very unique fighting styles that even the most casual player will notice. In comparison the first Mortal Kombat came out in arcades the year before Virtua Fighter did, had seven characters that all played very samey, and it was in an already established genre (2D fighters.) So Virtua Fighter did do a great job of standing out and not just in visuals but technique.
That being said, when you do get used to the controls and are actually able to stand up against the unfair difficulty it can be a blast. Having the 3D movement adds another element games like Street Fighter just don't have. While still in it's infancy here it at least did do it pretty well on it's first try.
Going even further into that. If you're looking at one on one against a friend this may be a better title to start with regardless of skill set. This game only has a three button set up of punch, kick, block. For comparison games like Street Fighter have a six button setup to make way for high punch, low punch, high kick, etc. So in Virtua Fighter your moves are limited. Even in the manual there's only a handful of special moves and most of them require very short combinations. This certainly isn't a competition level fighter. So even if you're playing against a friend who has a higher fighting game skill set you've got a better chance against them than otherwise.

Fighting games are something I've always been interested in but was never that great at. I love their pickup and play approach. I love their variety. I love how every franchise is really unique when other genres can't lay claim to that. I love about every aspect except the time, attention, and dedication it takes to be any good at them. If I were to spend as much time perfecting my skill in a fighting game as others do I'd probably consider it a waste of time and wished I became a real fighter in real life instead.
But that's the nature of the beast. Fighting games are competitive. As they should be. That's why Street Fighter IV is one of the hardest games to Platinum on PS3 (and I'm sure for achievements for on 360 as well.) The genre knows it's audience and they know it well. I'm just thankful not all franchises are like that. Which is why I've always enjoyed Virtua Fighter. They are competitive but far more approachable for the most part.
Despite it's challenges and outdated controls I still enjoy these games. I just wish I was better at them. Although, to be honest, I don't know how much I'll be playing this version from here on out. It was a rough and tough experience that I didn't enjoy as much as I once did. I look forward to picking up Virtua Fighter 2 and Fighters Megamix again. And once that time comes I can pretty much guarantee this disc will be collecting dust for a while. Until I pull it out to show a curious friend or to see if I can actually play through it after playing the improved sequels more.

Seriously. If you're interested in the Saturn get one of the sequels. Even the 'Remix' version of this is better. Don't feel the need to chase this one down unless you're a completionist collector. That's about the only reason.